Talking On The Telephone

I am at The Bohemian's flat, drinking wine and smoking a joint, when he mentions that his partner will be phoning to speak to me. I never talk on the 'phone and rely on email, texts and Facebook for keeping in touch with people so the thought of an actual telephone conversation fills me with dread. Everything is a bit hazy so I nod as if it's fine and hope she forgets to call.

But she does call and he passes me the big old fashioned phone, which looks like a prop from a 1970s sit-com. She begins telling me that a lot of interesting things have happened recently "and they are all because of dolphins!" The subsequent monologue leaves me confused. I say "hmm" and "right" and wonder where the conversation is going. We have met a couple of times before but I don't know her very well.

Then she mentions how The Bohemian said I'm interested in interviewing her, which is something he had suggested and I had half-heartedly agreed to, thinking it would never happen. She asks about my reasons for wanting to interview her and I feel put on the spot. I say that I'm interested in social history and helping people document their own experiences. She starts telling me about her life: teenage bride, beaten wife, losing custody of her children, joining the hippy trail in the 60s, getting into spirituality and hanging out in America with gurus and cults. It is fascinating and she has powerful reasons for wanting to leave a record for her children, who know nothing about their mother. But I find it difficult to follow her spiritual musings or interrupt her stream of consciousness conversational style. We have been talking for nearly an hour while The Bohemian rolls joints and pours wine for me, occasionally changing the music. I keep waiting for her to stop talking but it does not happen; finally, I have to interrupt her mid-flow and ask for her contact details so we can talk more at another time.

My left ear throbbing, I put the 'phone down. It's been one of the weirdest telephone conversations I've ever had.